*Header Photograph by cottonbro studio
What comes to mind when you hear the phrase “soft life”? Eating bon bons while wearing a feather-lined dressing gown and reclining on a fainting couch?
If only—but I do aspire to own a feather-lined dressing gown one day.
What constitutes a soft life is unique to each person, but I imagine what’s constant across the board is this: being intentional with your time and energy—choosing personal comfort and well-being over hustling, striving, and succumbing to societal pressure. I think the soft life movement gets a bad rep because some see it as shirking responsibilities, being lazy, and ignoring problems. Sure, that might be someone’s idea of a soft life, but it’s not mine.
My version of a soft life is this: waking at a time more aligned with my body and having flexibility over how I spend my day. Working remotely, often in inviting coffeeshops filled with natural light and plenty of table space. Being able to nap in the afternoon if I need to. Working on projects that excite me so much that I have to set up a “Stop Working” alarm on my phone—which goes off every night promptly at 10pm, by the way. Being able to travel as often as my wallet and dog-sitter—cough, my mom—allow.
While dreaming up this blog post, it occurred to me that I’ve always been meant for the soft life even before it became some trendy buzzword. From the little voice in my head whispering that I don’t belong in a cubicle, to the call to move to a small beach town in Mexico for a slower pace of life. I used to curse moving back to the family homestead out in the boonies after living on my own (with TinyDog, of course) in Mexico for a year and a half, and asked myself what I was meant to be learning from it. Now, it’s obvious: this move back home has allowed me the flexibility and financial breathing room to embrace the soft life.
I credit my time in Mexico for opening my eyes and setting my life on a different trajectory. Before my time in Puerto Vallarta, I declared my goal was to build a “self-publishing empire.” But empires are violent, built from destruction and breaking people down.
via Giphy
That definitely wasn’t what I wanted.
What I did—and do—want is to support myself by building a life I love, doing the things I love, with the people I love. And thus, my Soft Life Era began.
I’m fully aware of the privilege I have in being able to live at home, and I know not everyone can just wake up tomorrow and completely overhaul their life for all sorts of reasons, but here are some intentional steps you can take to soften the life you currently have.
Five Easy Ways to Soften Your Life
- Romanticize the mundane. Make ordinary moments meaningful, beautiful, and maybe even a bit magical not by changing what you do, but how you see and feel it. Sip your coffee like it’s the first time you’ve ever tasted it. Light a candle while you do the dishes.
- Create “soft windows” in your day. Lie on the floor for one minute. Have a screen-free lunch break. Take a five-minute walk with no destination. Put on your favorite song and dance it out.
- Speak to yourself like someone you love. Often our inner critic isn’t the nicest. Instead of talking to yourself like a stern taskmaster, try a little tenderness. Ex: “You’re doing the best you can with what you have—and that’s enough.”
- Don’t apologize for needing rest. Of course you’re tired—you’re a human being in a noisy world; not a machine. Normalizing rest is part of your rebellion.
- Remember: Slowing down doesn’t mean you’re falling behind. It means you’re choosing a pace that honors your energy, your rhythm, and your truth. Life was never meant to be a one-size-fits-all timeline.
Are you ready to enter your soft life era? Share in the comments one way you’re softening your life.
